


Southby

by sam_erotica



Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: Alcohol, Angst, Bottom Jensen, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established Relationship, Infidelity, M/M, Past Infidelity, Top Jared
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-13
Updated: 2018-03-13
Packaged: 2019-03-30 23:19:07
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 936
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13962243
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sam_erotica/pseuds/sam_erotica
Summary: There's anger in his voice, Jared notices. He doesn't usually let it bleed out. It feels appropriate this time, though. Everything else is bleeding. Why not.





	Southby

Spring Hill Country light wakes Jared slowly. He's pulled from dream-filled sleep like silk through an acrobat's hands, feeling the warmth of morning sun on the side of his face as he drifts into consciousness. His body shifts from airy weightlessness to earth-bound, dream images continuing to play in his mind, images of his body and Jensen's, moving together like crashing waves. Jared rolls to his side.

_Oh. Not a dream, then._

A smile pulls at the corners of Jared's mouth. Jensen is here. He's under a cotton sheet on a futon-couch in the back office of the San Jac Saloon, and Jensen is here by his side. 

 

_"Another one, baby?"_

_Jared accepted the glass with a raised eyebrow._

_"'Baby?' Dani's gone home then?"_

_Jensen bit his lip, took a slow pull of his whiskey._

_"Yeah, it's just us now."_

 

Jared can't stop his fingers from reaching out to touch. Jensen's got his right arm bent between the bed and his body, and his cheek squished into his hand. His fingers are cupped under his face like a baby's, mouth slightly open, huffing in and out softly into his own skin. Jared trails his fingertips lightly over the crease in Jensen's brow, the soft angle of his jaw, the wisps of hair at the back of his neck. Like a magnet, his body drifts closer to Jensen's, already thinking about how their lips feel pressed together.

 

_Jensen closed the space first. The wiry stubble on his chin scraped at Jared's as he pressed forward, insistent,_

_"I thought you said we weren't doing this anymore, Jen," Jared mumbled into Jensen's mouth._

_"I'm an idiot. I can't stop touching you, you know that."_

 

Jared rolls his body into Jensen's, tangles their legs together, lets his lips melt into the soft skin of Jensen's lips. He feels arms envelop him, fingers graze his back. He feels breath leave his body as they trade soft kisses, this moment suspended in time.

Jensen's eyes drift open, shimmering emerald in the morning Austin light. The lines around them deepen as he smiles up at Jared, so close and not close enough.

Then Jensen's brow furrows and his face closes down.  

"Aw, fuck," he says, rolling away.

 

_"Fuck," Jensen whines, "Jesus, do that again."_

_Jared smiles. "You mean this?" he teases, jabbing his tongue back into Jensen's ass. He's got Jensen naked from the waist down and bent over his desk, left hand gripping the meat of Jensen's thigh and right hand pressing down on his back. In control._

_He didn't think he was going to get to have this again. He's going to savor every sound and touch and taste. He starts a slow, deep rhythm._

 

Jared feels a slow, deep crack begin to form in his chest as he watches Jensen pulling away. He rolls to the other side, swings his legs off the side of the futon and sits up, resting elbows on knees as he tries to steady his breathing. Tears come, expected. Tears always come. 

"Fuckin' Southby," he hears Jensen mutter. "Every damn time." Jared drops his head, ears between shoulders.

"Don't do that, Jensen."

"Don't do what?" 

"Don't pretend it's just the music and the booze. Don't pretend that we don't still want each other and that you didn't fucking start it this time." There's anger in his voice, Jared notices. He doesn't usually let it bleed out. It feels appropriate this time, though. Everything else is bleeding. Why not.

There's silence. Long, drawn out silence. Jared counts fifteen exhales and sixteen inhales before the moisture falling from his eyes slows. He hears Jensen's voice, just a whisper over the ringing in his ears.

"I'm sorry."

Jared tries to count to eight more breaths before he opens his mouth.

"I'm sorry, Jared," Jensen tries again. Jared hears shuffling, feels a light touch on his back soon after as Jensen wraps him in arms and legs. The voice that drifts into his ear is closer. "You're right. I'm sorry. I don't know how to stop. I know that makes me an asshole. But I will really try to stop if you're asking me to."

_Ten, eleven, twelve, thirteen..._

"Are you asking me to?"

What's left intact of Jared's will finally crumbles as he turns in Jensen's arms, pushes them back on top of the flimsy cotton sheet. Jensen's legs fall open easily, and Jared slots between them like he belongs there. He does belong there.

"No. I'm not asking." He rolls his hips against Jensen's, savoring the low groan that rumbles through Jensen's chest. "I'm never gonna stop wanting you." Lips to lips, the air between them grows humid. 

"Say that again, please," Jensen whines, his body undulating under Jared's. 

"I'm never gonna stop wanting you, baby," he growls, growing hard, breath pouring directly into Jensen's ear. "Not ever." Jensen's hardening length twitches between them at the words. Jared feels Jensen's long fingers reach between them, grasp his growing erection, stroking and pulling expertly.

"Now? Because I want you now," he breathes, opening his legs wider. "I'm still open, please Jay."

Jared feels himself pulse in Jensen's hand.

Propped on his elbows, he pushes back into Jensen easily. He nuzzles the sweat from below Jensen's ear as they move together, licking the moans from each other's mouths, needing more of everything.

As Jensen pulls him in deeper and tangles one hand in the mop of Jared's hair, he realizes how hopeless it is, what an addict he is. At least he's finally being honest about it, but he's powerless.

He's never going to be able to say no.

**Author's Note:**

> For some reason I have to write angst when I'm feeling blocked. Now I can return to my other WIP.


End file.
